I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
