New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
