after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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