All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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