i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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