I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
