My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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