A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I touched a dick in church today
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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