We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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