Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
