Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed

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  (804): the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight (1-804): i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed http://tfl.nu/tivd
  Replies (38) Good night (4128) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"

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  (630): i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis" http://tfl.nu/h67z
  Replies (20) Good night (1161) Bad night (5585)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.

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  (919): We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad. http://tfl.nu/rfuh
  Replies (25) Good night (2538) Bad night (6532)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.

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  (916): I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was. http://tfl.nu/vzii
  Replies (9) Good night (1186) Bad night (2327)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.

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  (304): Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh. http://tfl.nu/3wcj
  Replies (4) Good night (1972) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.

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  (604): I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power. http://tfl.nu/ot62
  Replies (4) Good night (1700) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Some girl just showed me her stretch marks

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You need to get out of tn

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  (304): Some girl just showed me her stretch marks (757): You need to get out of tn http://tfl.nu/alqm
  Replies (7) Good night (599) Bad night (1635)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.

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  (210): Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it. http://tfl.nu/xm4g
  Replies (4) Good night (1715) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  This is true but you can't really get fired from college

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  (618): College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one. (1-618): This is true but you can't really get fired from college http://tfl.nu/z0cp
  Replies (3) Good night (1448) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness

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  (631): She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat (1-631): I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness http://tfl.nu/blnl
  Replies (4) Good night (1205) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.

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  (908): He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound. http://tfl.nu/kpce
  Replies (7) Good night (3426) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  As weird as it sounds I would totally be down

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  (847): Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks. (630): As weird as it sounds I would totally be down http://tfl.nu/3ahb
  Replies (8) Good night (1292) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.

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  (541): I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis. http://tfl.nu/x9yx
  Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.

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  (262): I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity. (224): That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/buw1
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."

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  (717): You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina." http://tfl.nu/43rj
  Replies (4) Good night (519) Bad night (204)

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