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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  you can....by speaking....

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday

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• (+48): View more from Poland

  there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.

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• (714): View more from California

  I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......

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• (323): View more from California

  My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?

  (1-863): View more from Florida

  Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".

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