Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Hi

  (805): View more from California

  Babe...You're really smothering me right now

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  (425): Hi (805): Babe...You're really smothering me right now http://tfl.nu/5pqv
  Replies (34) Good night (990) Bad night (4803)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener

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  (214): a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener http://tfl.nu/2syz
  Replies (6) Good night (545) Bad night (2156)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.

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  (806): So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs. http://tfl.nu/g178
  Replies (36) Good night (4096) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me

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  (904): I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me http://tfl.nu/myzn
  Replies (28) Good night (1112) Bad night (6111)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework

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  (828): I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework http://tfl.nu/o5bk
  Replies (34) Good night (1218) Bad night (4692)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"

  (631): View more from New York

  I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...

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  (631): Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship" (631): I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint... http://tfl.nu/594s
  Replies (19) Good night (4180) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.

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  (561): Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game. http://tfl.nu/593t
  Replies (28) Good night (815) Bad night (5375)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.

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  (305): We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had. http://tfl.nu/tauu
  Replies (26) Good night (5674) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (+91): View more from India

  Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.

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  (+91): Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not. http://tfl.nu/eg4c
  Replies (34) Good night (1593) Bad night (3910)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!

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  (678): I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE! http://tfl.nu/ve9p
  Replies (9) Good night (2859) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"

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  (301): Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles" http://tfl.nu/ewys
  Replies (7) Good night (1382) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life

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  (412): But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life http://tfl.nu/sdyc
  Replies (5) Good night (1097) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight

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  (214): Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight http://tfl.nu/391k
  Replies (5) Good night (881) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I found and fixed my beer gun.

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  (570): Also I found and fixed my beer gun. http://tfl.nu/qi6j
  Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?

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  (571): Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you? http://tfl.nu/rje6
  Replies (13) Good night (349) Bad night (691)

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