he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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