You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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