Will you blow on my dice?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
