Me too!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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