I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
