They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
