so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize