I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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