found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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