home. puking in laundry basket.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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