I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
