is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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