My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
