Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Boobs speak an international language.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
