Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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