he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
