Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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