I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
