when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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