so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
