What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
