How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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