I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
