It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
