so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
