naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
