I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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