AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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