i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
