i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
operation have a gay friend backfired
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize