well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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