We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
