we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
