it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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