Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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