If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
