I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
