Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
