I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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