Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
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my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
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just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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