overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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