He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
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Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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