It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
