K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
