heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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