Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize