Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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