all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
