Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
