how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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