so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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