I look better un-naked...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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