I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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