we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
They took my balls.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
