i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Enjoy the penises
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
