i barfeds in our rink
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
