Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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