i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
