Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
