Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
